Archive for ◊ June, 2010 ◊

29 Jun 2010 The hotel bill
 |  Category: Funnies  | Tags: , ,  | Leave a Comment

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider
this:

My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being
Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later,
the desk clerk handed us a bill for $350.00.

I explode and demanded to know why the charge is so high. I told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. I
insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us
to use. ‘But we didn’t use them,” I said. ”Well, they are here, and you
could have,” explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” I said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I. replied, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. “But sir, this cheque is only made out for $50.00.” ”That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife,” I replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

I said, “Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have.”

Don’t mess with Senior Citizens

27 Jun 2010 Don’t mess with old people
 |  Category: Funnies  | Tags: ,  | Leave a Comment

Apparently an urban legend.. but it speaks volumes…………

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?”

He said “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.”

George said, “Okay.”

He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot them.” and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Don’t mess with old people

26 Jun 2010
 |  Category: Funnies  | Leave a Comment

For those of you who don’t live in Texas ,

and think we are a bunch of uncivilized ruffians

- Well, it’s simply not true!

In fact, we have ladies’ groups that meet regularly to discuss current events

and develop needed home-skills.

For example, this photo was recently taken at a ladies group meeting in Orange

where they were discussing the elections coming up in November, and in 2012.

26 Jun 2010 Illegal Immigration
 |  Category: immigration  | Tags:  | Leave a Comment

22 Jun 2010 Another $20 Mil+ pissed away
 |  Category: Politics  | Tags: ,  | Leave a Comment

In the dead of night Obama burns another $20.3 Million of ‘OUR’ money…. More like our children’s and grandchildren’s money… For what? To relocate some folks from Gaza to the U.S. What is this crazy mess? As if he’s got an unlimited checkbook by issuing Executive Orders? When will folks hold this fool accountable for this sort of spending?

How many folks are being relocated, are we buying them a house, paying them to get established, maybe a new car or two as well? $20M is a hell of a lot of money…. Bet I could move a fair sized town of folks for that price!

Its not like we in this country don’t have dozens of more pressing issues where cash like that would help….. Or better yet send it to China and start buying back our country!