Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.”
The other student says: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki
Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart just as we learned in class.”
Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him:
“We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you
might have. Could you tell us what it is?”
The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”
The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought……. But you are wrong.”
The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought……. But you are wrong.”
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”
The old man said, “I thought it was a Fart………………….. But I was wrong, too!”

The Obama posterchild for clinging to God and Guns?

Below are a pile of Beach or Tropical type images suitable for desktop wallpaper.

Click the thumbnail to view full sized images.

Under the guise of research and service fees, the latest governemnt money grab has been titled Non-Productive Time Fee (NPTF). In cooperation with Microsoft, the maker of Windows, new software is being developed and tested in select areas of the country. This software was designed and sent to Winodws users over the summer of 2009, promoted as a security patch for all Windows computers this monitoring packages was delivered through Microsoft Update and automatically installed.

What does this software do? In a nutshell, it runs anytime the computer is turned up and monitors what the person is doing, if the activity is considered “Non-Productive” it records how much “Non-Productive Time” (NPT) has elasped and forwards that information to a government server the next time it can connect to the internet.

What is NPT? So far investigations have revealed the following NPT activities, playing games of any sort, reading or sending email, browsing most internet websites (Google, Yahoo, Twitter, Mysypace, and Facebook to namea few), there are some exceptions to the web browsing, visiting Democratic Congress and Senate seat websites, most liberal blogs, CNN, ABC, CBS, and NBC news sites and similar sites do not get counted. Strange behaviors were observed when reading the Fox News website, the counter appeared to increment 5 minutes for every 1 minute of actual time.

Exactly how the fees will broken down per minute has not been released or determined but will be assessed by the Internal Revenue Service and calculated and asessed during annual Income Tax filings beginning April 2010.

The secretly passed bill contains a number of pages of specific language that “Statistically, most African American and Latino households in the U.S. do not have a computer in the home, compared to the average white household which has a national average of 2 or more computers”. This fee is considered a tool to further level the playing field by only taxing those with free time that can be spent in a non-productive manner. Additionally, it is important to note this act is being labeled as a “service fee” not a tax, unlike taxes that require a 7 year record to be maintained by the payer and the collector, service fees are only recorded and retained for 90 days after collection. No fee records need be kept beyond this window, proof that the fees were assessed or paid will leave no trail.

It is also worthy to note that Microsoft was not a willing participant to make this addition to their Windows Operating Systems. They received sum of $3.5B to write the software and add it to the list of required software to be “Updated” for all computers. Although if history has taught any company, not playing ball with the Obama administration can pose dire consequences, General Motors, Chrysler, as well as a number of financial institutions discovered earlier this year. Simply being unwilling to cooperate with the Obama administrations’ demands may lead down a rather unpleasant path.

The following may well be an Urban Legend but it still gets the point across.

Sad but True

This is a true story.  The man who walks with God always gets to his destination.  If you have a pulse you have a purpose.

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the world!!!

Last month I attended my annual training session that’s required for maintaining my federal prison security clearance.

During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.  The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.

After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: ‘Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven.  If that’s the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?’

There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, ‘Non-believers!’

I responded, ‘So, let me make sure I have this straight.  All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven.  Is that correct?’

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.’  He sheepishly replied, ‘Yes.’

I then stated, ‘Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Charles Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!’

The Imam was speechless!

I continued, ‘I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!  Let me ask you a question:  Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?’

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.  Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims’ beliefs.

In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in many countries of the world to elect the Muslim Leaders!