Courtesy of a random email:
Ft. Worth Police today reported finding a John Doe male body in the Trinity River . The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama t-shirt. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.
The police thoughtfully removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.