Things I have learned when living in Oklahoma : (This also applies to other ‘country’ states)
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 1,947 types of snakes and 1,945 of ’em live in Oklahoma ..
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Oklahoma , plus a couple no one’s seen before.
4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.
5. ‘Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7.. ‘Jaw-P?’ means ‘Did ya’ll go to the bathroom?’
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. ‘fixinto’ is one word.
10. Tornado watches and tornado warnings are like television commercials. Just another annoying break in your favorite television program, giving you just enough time to go to the bathroom and get another cold drink.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards (pronounced “backerds ‘n’ fords”), means, ‘I know everything about you that I need to know.’
13. The word ‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat?’.
14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. ‘No. Jew?’ is a common response to the question, ‘Did you bring any beer?’.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18.. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal..
20. You know what a ‘DAWG’ is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car — for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Head Country, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
24. A day that reaches 100 degrees Fahrenheit is “just another day”.
25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
26. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
27. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
28. We don’t need no dang driver’s education. We’ve been drivin’ tractors ‘n hay trucks since the age of 8! Besides, if our mama says we can drive, then we can.