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A Welfare Story

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, ‘ Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather haveĀ a job.’

The social worker behind the counter said, ‘ Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You’ll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.

This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges

As the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.

Another good one overheard via email

A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. Located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.’

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, ‘You’re bullshittin’ me!’

The social worker said, ‘ Yeah, well, you started it.’