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Posts published in September 2011

No Tax Hikes

Obviously, spawned from a classic Jerry Springer episode featuring the “Soup Nazi” famous for “No soup for you!”.

Obama at the bank

Barack Obama walks into the bank to cash a check. “Good morning, Ma’am,” he greets the cashier, “could you please cash this check for me?”

“It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?”

“Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America!”

“Yes, sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc, I must insist on seeing ID.”

“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

“I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

“I am urging you please to cash this check.”

“Ok, this is what we can do Mr. President: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot, making the tennis ball land in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the president of the United States?”

Obama stands there thinking and finally says, “Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing I’m good at.”

“Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”

Telling it like it is

A Texas cop stopped an elderly lady for speeding.

He asked for her driver’s license, and proof of insurance. The old gal took out the required information and handed it to him.

He was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a concealed handgun-carry permit. He asked if she had a weapon in her possession at the time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. He asked her if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.

The cop asked her if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. He then asked her what was making her so afraid she felt the need to carry weapons.

She looked him right in the eye and said, “Not a darn thing!”

Obama on jobs….

Did you miss it?  Maybe you found something do while waiting for the fottball game to start, yes Obama gave yet another speech.  For 40 plus minutes going on about how Congress must pass this bill right now…  What mystical document must be passed?  He’s presented nothing a bunch of worn out ideas that did nothing in the past but drive our nations deficit deeper and deeper.  It sure must be a wonderful thing, akin to the total fiasco of Obamacre… pass it now and we can find out what’s really in it and how it will be funded in two weeks!  Too bad it doesn’t yet exist except in his mind.  The Master Visionary hard at work trying to destroy our nation so it can be rebuilt into some socialist state to suite his plans. 

What he and every other Democrat fails to see is this great nation of ours has done well enough for itself for the last 200 plus years without him!  At least when conservatives are running things, yes I’ll admit without further extending entitlements to those that will not do for themselves.  Afterall why should they fend for themselves when vote pandering Democrats are constantly handing out the hard EARNED monies taken from those that will actually earn it, and for the meager price of a vote to keep them in power.  Are people so blind or ignorant they cannot see this circle?  I think not, its more likely been bred into some folks to do nothing and take from everyone else…. it is the entitlement way after all… their parents did it and their parents before them.  People wonder why the people of the U.S. seem not to be able to do anything for themselves….  intentionally dumbing down the population and allowing the country to become a stagnent pool. 

It wasn’t that long ago kids learned that if its broken learn how and fix it.  Nowadays we have been thrust into a disposable society… forget fixing anything, just toss it and get a new one.  Not too kong ago it was fix it and get it working or do without! 

Back to Obama’s magical jobs program speech, there were enough half truths and just plain made up things to fill a 13 yard truck.  Can anyone tell me how payroll tax cuts for employees and businesses will raise funds for the feds to redistribute to pay for all these wonderful plans?  I’m all for tax cuts, don’t get me wrong but I’m no dummy either.  Less money in does not equal more going out to fund stupid stuff. 

Lets hire more teachers and fix the run down schools in impoverished areas… how about pitting in a security system and catch the morons that are tearing them up in the first place…. and behold you now have a workforce to make the repairs.  Why fix it up and hire more teachers to teach kids that don’t care about gaining an education in the first place.  They can ‘not learn’ and play their little gang wars in a torn up building, hell they tore it up in the first place!

More to follow folks on this proposed $450+ billion trainwreck.

Shit Creek

Thanks to this entrepreneur we can at least get a paddle every time we end up there in the future! I predict he’ll make a fortune!